An Experience To Remember
by moaaa
Summary: "I had watched Jacob Black fumble around girls since he was little..." Leah's sick of Jacob being so virgin-like and makes it her job to get him some action because he obviously won't do it on his own. - A two or three shot. Slightly OOC, but still fun.
1. A Mission

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

**Warnings: A lot of cussing and sexual innuendos.**

* * *

I had watched Jacob Black fumble around girls since he was very little. He was never one for words, but girls seemed to flock to him, even when he was young and just playing on the playground.

And, it was my job as Leah Clearwater, to make sure those horny bitches stayed away from him – even at ten years old.

For the most part. Bella Swan somehow slipped passed my defenses, and I cursed myself for it. Just look at all the shit she caused.

But now, we were older and that bitch was vamped up and stowed away in their mansion with their demon spawn of a child and I couldn't help but notice something.

"You're such a virgin," I laughed as Jacob sputtered in response, nearly falling from the couch.

"What the hell Leah?" He groaned, rubbing his head from where he had jerked and hit it from surprise.

"I'm just saying. After all the shit you've been through, with Bella and whatever, you never hit that once, and you can tell."

He rubbed his face in exasperation. "Leah, please, I'm perfectly...fine."

"Last time you beat it?"

"Leah!" Seth and him yelled, mortified all the same.

"By that, I'm guessing recently. You know what, you're gonna lose your virginity tonight."

They all gave me looks of horror. I realized how that sounded, and I have to admit, I pondered the idea. He was sexy, and damn fine all around and a nice friend, but younger than me and I wasn't willing to ruin our Alpha-Beta bond we had somehow managed to build up.

But it was intriguing, yes, intriguing. I resisted rubbing my chin in an evil genius kind of way simply for the fact that I _wasn't _fifteen anymore. I preferred to make my evil intentions noticeable in different ways now, like the smirk I was currently sporting.

"Not me, you idiots," Seth looked relieved, but I took note of Jacob's barely concealed disappointment.

He had realized it _obviously _wouldn't have been that bad.

In fact, it would have been damn good.

But that was besides the point and I stood up.

"Tonight, we're going to Port Angeles to go clubbing, and we're gonna get you laid, my friend." My _sexy _friend. I giggled like a bitch inside and left the room, ignoring his protest.

* * *

At ten o' clock, the prime time for clubbing, I dragged Jacob from the house in a dress shirt and jeans that made me want to jump his bones, and I kind of already did.

He protested, yes he did. But in the end, I didn't give a fuck about his _opinion _and I took his ass with me.

There was no way I was just going to let one of my best friends remain a virgin when he damn well didn't have to be one.

I told him so.

And he groaned, like I was doing some horrible thing. I was doing him a_ favor_.

At least, that's what I had convinced myself. Maybe I just wanted to see how Jacob behaved in a club scene with all his good looks and shit.

I bet you, girls would just be all over him.

And like that, I was Leah "Back The Hell Up Bitch" Clearwater. He would get laid once by one girl I approved of with moderately sized boobs and an ass that was nowhere near bigger than mine (as if that was possible, I snorted. My ass was delicious.) and he would go in and out. I would time that shit too.

Me and Paul made a bet he'd last about two minutes. That was a lot for a virgin, but he was Jacob Black shape-shifter Alpha extraordinaire, so I put a little faith in him. Paul fucked him over with a minute and I had kicked him. That was damn low for someone like Jacob. I was gonna make Paul's twenty bucks my bitch.

I finished the two hour drive to downtown Port Angeles, and by God, Jacob fidgeted the whole damn time.

That shit would not fly. But, those bitches would eat that innocent nervous shit up. But he couldn't _look _like a virgin, or even really act like one.

I pulled up to one of my favorite clubs that always had good action. Hey, I made sure to scope out guys and girls, just in case anything like this ever popped up. And I knew it would one day. If not Jacob, then Embry, if not Embry then Quil and if push came to shove I would make sure Seth got some before he turned twenty. He was only fifteen now, so I didn't really worry.

But I _had_ noticed that slut Laura Ople giving him that, "I wanna fuck you" eye lately. I would have to watch that shit. I would know, I practically _invented _that look.

I put the car in park half way down the street (because that's where the only goddamn parking space was. It was overflowing tonight. He would definitely get laid, _yep_.) and turned to him. He was playing with his jeans, pulling at the frays at the top of the seam.

"Stop that," I snapped, reaching over and loosening three buttons from his shirt and rearranging his hair. He looked like a sexy douchebag, you know, like from that dumb as fuck show _Jersey Shore _that killed my brain cells whenever I watched it.

Which seemed to be more and more recently.

Pauly and Vinny were amazing, but that was _so _besides the point.

"Leee-_ahh_," Jacob whined my name and I smirked. "Definitely don't do that in the club. They'll think we're fucking and avoid you. Now get your ass out."

I heard him mumble something akin to, "Wouldn't want_ that_ to happen." and I pulled him to the front, ignoring the comment. All it took was a little flirting and a ten (I was that _damn _good, yes.) to get him in, underaged or not.

The place inside was packed and so fucking sweaty I kicked a couple of people when they started to grind on me but otherwise made our way through the crowd at the front door uneventfully. I smirked at Jacob's expression when we got to the bar. He seemed to be mortified, and I loved it.

The strobe lights were flashing in time with some breakneck paced music, and already, I saw Jacob getting some interested looks from bitches already drunk off their asses. Jacob blushed and flashed them a nervous smile they giggled their asses off about.

_That_ was most _definitely _**not** going to happen, but I knew one thing: this was going to be _so _fun.

* * *

**Leah was a bit OOC, but it was too much fun. I don't think it was that far of a stretch from her character, but that's really for you to decide. It just came to me, and I wrote it out, and now, if you all liked it, I will continue it. Because it was really fun to write. And, humor is not usually my thing, since I have the most fucked up sense of humor ever, but I tried.**

**This will be Jake/Leah, if you hadn't picked up on that.**

**Review, and tell me if should continue this! All thoughts are appreciated.**

**xxEchelonAtHeartxx**


	2. Mission Fulfilled

**Stop now if you don't like _a lot_ of cussing. And so much sexual talk.**

* * *

"First off, you have got to stop fidgeting," We had been here fifteen minutes and I wanted to slap the _shit _out of him, already!

"Well, I'm, _sorry,"_ He scoffed sarcastically. "But I don't usually go around scoping out pieces of ass!"

I glared. "Well, you should!" I snapped, sighing. I took a deep breath. He was young, he had never done this before - do. _not_. _hit_. him, Leah.

The club was raging by now, bodies grinding and bumping quickly and Jacob had no clue what to do. He just needed to stop being so small, and acting like he had never done this before.

"I don't care that you haven't done it before! It's easy, especially for someone like you. So stop fidgeting, and listen to me." He stopped his nervous twitches and actually fucking looked at me, for once.

"Do you want that ass?"

"Yes?"

"What! I can't hear you!" Besides the fact that the music was pumping so loud I could barely hear myself think, but we were supernatural shape-shifters and that would not deter us.

I was also well aware of the fact that I sounded like an eighty year old drill sergeant, but right now I didn't care.

"I want it!" He clenched his fists, at least attempting to look determined.

"Good! Say it louder!"

"I _want_.that._ass_!" He growled out, and I was impressed. But admitting it was only the first step, and we seemed to be making progress.

"Let's start off with something easy," I was refreshed, kind of. I, at least, didn't want to smack him back fucking home. "Dancing."

"I can't dance Leah," He said with pinched eyebrows and I sighed, grabbing his face forcefully and turning it too look at the crowd.

"Does that really look like dancing to you?" I said, referring to the horny bitches rubbing their crotches all over each other and looking like they were loving it.

"Dancing is an expression. It's not about how good you look. This type of dancing is about letting your body move you in sync to whoever happens to be in front of you. Feel their rhythm and match it to yours. These," I put my hands on his hips in a tight grip. "are what will inevitably get you ass tonight. These are the only way a girl will know you're interested. You won't need words."

He nodded, if a little unsure, but I didn't care. He was starting to get it, and shit, I hoped he got it good.

"And, you need to give her a look. One of those smoldering looks you used to give Leech-Lover all the time. I've seen it, and it almost makes _my _panties drop. Do it, and you will get it." He raised an eyebrow at my abrasive admission, but otherwise dropped it. It was nothing special anyways.

I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Leah Ass was nice after all, and I didn't want to disappoint him by shooting down any and all thoughts he had of possibly getting me tonight.

Not that I really would have minded.

Hey, like I said, he was damn fine.

"Now get out there and show those girls you want it! When you think you like a girl and wanna take her home, come see me. And I will approve or disapprove." Jacob tried to glare at me, but mine was heavier and he sighed. I was Leah "Back The Hell Up Bitch" Clearwater after all.

He turned around and I was tempted to smack his ass, just for the goddamn vote of confidence, but I decided against it.

I watched him move into the crowd and he was tall in the crowd, but strangely not the tallest. I kept my eyes on him and he seemed to be getting it. The music was fast and off the wall and I watched him attempt to move his hips in time with the music.

Some girl came up and rubbed against him, and I think he almost got the hint because, by George, and grabbed her hips and started rubbing against her the same way she was doing him.

She smiled up at him in a flirty way, and he smiled back, paying it no mind. She was so into him, I think it hurt me. He was so fucking dense!

Jacob came over to me after awhile of dancing with the same girl, not picking up on any of the obvious hints she threw his way.

"You, Black, are an idiot," I sighed exasperatedly.

He looked flabbergasted. "I'm sorry?"

"She was so into you, for Fuck's sakes, she might as well have been fucking you on that damn floor! You can't only dish out the hints, you have to pick up on them too!" And it seemed like he would be getting a lot, if that group of girls in the corner, staring at him like he was fresh meat - which he really was. I sighed. - had anything to do with it.

They were drunk, and that sure as Hell wasn't happening. But, hey, at least he smiled.

I pushed him back out onto the floor, hoping whatever bitch came up to him was none to subtle.

I got my wish when the next girl started dancing on him. She was painfully obvious and he seemed to be getting it.

I mentally scoped her out. She had too big of an ass, so that was immediately out ruled. My ass would always, always, be the finest he saw, and I would make sure of that.

I was taken away from my thoughts by a presence next to me. It was a guy about Jacob's age, obviously in here illegally. He was giving me the guy version of that look and _fuck,_ I almost laughed aloud.

He opened his mouth, and I really wanted to hit him for having such horrible teeth hygiene. "Hey, I'm.."

Uh, no.

Really, kid. "Get lost." He got the hint and skedaddled, just as Jacob began to make his way over to me with a girl.

The same girl with an ass too big. "Leah."

"No."

He glared at me. "But –"

"Fuck you Jacob, no," The girl looked confused but Jacob quietly lead her away.

Yeah, that's right bitch. No one was getting passed me.

* * *

Jacob continued to dance in the crowd, almost getting it, and before long, someone else came up and started dancing with him.

Kind of.

To be truthful, I almost pissed myself laughing at Jacob's expression when he saw it was a guy attempting to dance with him. I was clutching my stomach and howling with laughter, and he gave me the stink eye.

I had to admit, Jacob had that Gay Appeal to him that the guy obviously picked up on. That didn't make it any less funny though.

Shit, I _had_ to tell the guys about this.

* * *

Thirty minutes passed, and he came to me with another girl. Small enough ass, boobs moderately sized, but she was extremely handsy on Jacob.

Not gonna fly. "Fuck no."

...

"Jacob, what the hell, no!"

...

"No!"

...

"She's too young for you bro!"

I really, really had to lay off that fucking Jersey Shore. I liked all of my braincells, and watching that show was like sniffing nail polish, shit.

But, really, she was way young, and I wondered how the hell she even got in the damn place. Anyone could see she was too young to even _look _at dicks, let alone touch them.

...

"Oh, _Hell no_!"

That girls boobs were like fucking watermelons, what the hell did he think I was gonna say, 'Go ahead, bring her back so you could fucking juggle those things'! Fuck that.

* * *

He finally came to me with another girl, and I almost thought I could get on board with that shit. Small ass, moderately sized boobs, and she didn't touch Jacob too much.

Which was a little bit weird. How could she not, especially being the horny bitch she was. You could tell just by looking in her eyes, she liked that good shit.

I'd had many years of scoping out those evil bitches with intentions of ruining my stupid Pack's innocence, and you could see, just by looking at her, that she'd have a field day around the guys I normally hang out with.

She probably tried to be most guys' dream girl - a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.

Apparently, too much Ludacris too. I didn't even _like _rap for Gods sake. It was Embry fault, he was into that, but not me.

I was getting off track, and Jacob was looking at me strangely. I continued to look her over. Maybe she'd be a good fuck for Jacob though. Even if he would only last about two minutes (Paul's twenty bucks was mine!), I still wanted it to be _good _for him.

"This is Jenny," Prissy ass name, but whatever. "Her boyfriend just broke up with her."

Ah, a rebound fuck. Meaningless, probably revengeful, _perfect. _

I didn't want any bitch getting attached and trying to force her way onto the rez, fucking through guys like she was Kim Kardashian or some other shit. I _really _didn't want to have to throw her across the border and off our land. Though it would be kind of fun..

Just a little...

They hadn't let me do it to Bella ("Jacob loves her!" "She's just a human!" Blah, blah, bullshit.) and I hadn't done it since this one bitch tried to get Embry to do something he really hadn't wanted to do.

I groaned because, as much I hated to admit it, I was _protective _over them. I was the only girl in the Pack, and when they came to me about girl problems, crying or pissed off, I wanted to make sure she never even looked at which ever wolf she had hurt again.

Which is why a meaningless fuck would be perfect for this mission tonight. Then again, I would really hate it if Jacob became attached to _her. _

I had been through that shit, where a whiney guy kept calling you after one night and no matter how much you cussed him out, he called and called. I shuddered, just thinking of it. _Never again._

"Hello, Jenny," I pursued my lips. "Leah."

"Oh. My. _God_!" I winced, looking at Jacob with wide eyes. He shrugged, unregretfully. Was he _fucking_ serious? I wanted to slap her, just for having that voice. "I love your name!"

"Um.." I truly didn't know what to say. I guess thank you would work. "Thanks?"

"No problem! Jacob, let's go dance!" She pulled him back to the crowd, immediately throwing herself against him.

Even I had to admit, she had some nice moves. She didn't have a lot uptown or downtown, but she worked with what she had, and I had to give Jenny some credit.

But that _voice. _

Ugh.

Some other guy came up beside me as I watched them, and I turned to face him when he cleared his throat, about to tell him to Fuck Off in the worst way possible.

But, oh Hell, he had the prettiest eyes.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He smirked, and I tilted my head at his sultry voice. He looked good. I kept Jacob and Jenny in the corner of my eye as I turned to talk to him.

"Sorry, not drinking tonight," Like it would do much difference. My body just burned it off like it was water anyways.

"A shame," I narrowed my eyes at his implication.

"Not really," I crossed my arms, suddenly not like his face.

"Patrick," He smirked again, because, for some reason, his name was just _that _goddamn special that it deserved a special smirk too.

Woo-fucking-hoo.

But it looked good on his face, and I almost smiled back, leaning against the bar.

"Leah."

"So, Leah – " I cut him off as I heard Jacob call my name. I looked over to see him wave while being lead out by Jenny and like fuck if he thought I would pass up an easy twenty bucks.

"Sorry, gotta go, Pretty Boy," I didn't bother leaving my number. I followed them out, and I felt proud.

Jacob Black was about to lose his virginity, and it was indirectly because of me!

One dumbass down, about three to go. I hoped the others wouldn't be so difficult.

I groaned at the thought. This was tiring, but fuck if it wasn't fun.

* * *

**No offense to the name Jenny. I actually like that name..but Leah doesn't. **

**And, wtf was that. I swear, my chapters just gain a mind of their own and go all over the place. I think this was good though. But, who cares what I thought, I care what you thought!**

**xxEchelonAtHeartxx**


	3. The Reward

I sighed impatiently. Jacob was a goddamn virgin. How could he stand so much foreplay? Right now he was fondling her naked breasts just like a teenage guy and I looked away, kind of feeling sorry for the girl.

I was perched next to _Jenny's_ second story window, balancing on a branch like a goddamn monkey. I had an excellent view of all of the proceedings, but it's not like I was _looking. _

I sighed again, glancing back to see that he was finally about to make the move. The girl yelped, apparently not used to something so big.

I snickered, nearly falling off the tree. I hit the timer as soon as he was in. I made sure to keep my eyes on his face and not let it drift anywhere else.

I felt like that girl didn't really know what she was getting. If I had _that_, I would make sure to worship_ every little bit_ of it...

I shifted on my branch, glancing at the timer.

00:00:53

I looked up to see Jacob still going strong, his eyes clenched tight as he whispered something that apparently was helping him get his rocks off.

Paul's money was _mine._

I rubbed my legs together uncomfortably and a little disturbingly. I was actually getting _turned on _by this, and it made me feel a little weird.

Since when was I Leah "Horny For Jacob" Clearwater? I felt like a total cougar, thinking such dirty thoughts about Jacob and his meat stick.

I groaned, because I hadn't said '_meat stick' _since before I first _saw _one. Since then it was been cock, dick, and sometimes even disco stick when I felt up to being a little childish.

You know, "_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick."_.

I started humming the song, making a note to avoid mainstream from here on out. First Jersey Shore, now Lady Gaga? I had been watching MTV, Fuse and other shit way to much.

I needed a job.

Atleast, one besides being a fulltime shape-shifter makeshift mom. Yeah, I mothered those bitches, and I was proud to admit it. Someone had to keep them in check when half of their mothers didn't even know what they did most of the time.

I looked up in time to see Jacob thrusting into that girl like a bullet, chasing his release and obviously not getting it easily.

The timer read 00:01:37. I mentally started cheering, hoping he could last and extra twenty-three seconds.

He passed the two minute mark, and kept going. I was, needless to say, shocked from shit when he just kept thrusting, even after Jenny cried out some dude's name and clenched around Jacob. That was usually the undoing of any guy, especially a virgin.

But, he just kept going, not at all deterred. Soon, Jenny orgasmed again (_bitch had stamina, _I had to admit_), _but soon after, I watched her eyes drift closed, and she seemed to just let Jacob use her body.

I was appalled. The least she could do was stay awake.

The timer was at 00:02:32. Jacob was losing steam, but from what I could tell, there had been no climax for him. He looked frustrated, ashamed, and disgusted.

I watched him put on his clothes and leave from her room, heading obviously toward the front door. I jumped from the tree and rushed back to my car, shutting off the timer.

Jacob seemed shocked by my appearance, but he settled for not caring. He just slid in, and I started up the car, starting the drive home.

He didn't say anything, and I, for once, kept my damn mouth shut. Shit like this hurt guys egos and he didn't know that I knew it hadn't worked out.

I felt so _bad _though. He wasn't a virgin anymore, but he should at least have had the experience of a _real _climax – not that puny shit you got from jacking off.

"_Leah_," He moaned out my name in despair, and I shook off all dirty thoughts. "I'm dysfunctional."

Naturally, I laughed. "How so? It wasn't _amazing, _like you thought it would be_?_"

"Something like that," He grumbled. "I didn't climax at all. Geez, Leah, I tried so hard but I just couldn't get there."

"She just didn't do it for you," I said sympathetically. He was in distress and I knew enough about guys on how to not make it worse.

"That's what I thought too," Jacob sighed, leaning back in defeat. "I even tried imagining someone else, but that didn't work either. I was like, '_Shit, this is probably nothing like the real thing,' _so I gave up on that. And then, I just completely gave up. It was so frustrating. Is there something wrong with me Lee?"

"Maybe who you imagined didn't do it for you either.." I trailed off, piecing it together myself. That's what he was muttering while I..er..observed.

_Yeah, say it like that. That makes it sound so much better. _I mentally scoffed, coming to terms with the fact that I was totally and forevermore a cougar.

_Hide ya' kids, hide ya' wife..._ Bed Intruder chose that moment to play in my head.

I groaned. _My life sucks. _It was only a matter of time before I was barefoot and pregnant in some douche's kitchen, making him fucking chicken. I shuddered. That was not happening.

My mind drifted back to the forefront problem.

"You didn't imagine that Bella Bitch, did you? Because, no wonder your boat wouldn't float." I scoffed in exasperation. The guy needed to get her off his mind.

But I thought with the imprinting, it did.

So, there was no way he imagined his imprints mom, because that would be _betrayal _to the imrpint...

Most imprinters would imagine their imprinted. But that was under the circumstance that their imprint was _of age_...

I finally got there, gasping loudly and swerving on the road.

Well, fuck me with a broomstick_. _

"Jacob Ephraim Black! Please tell me you did not imagine your little demon spawn of a child while fucking that chick!" I bellowed so loud I was sure the driver beside me heard.

"God, _no_, Leah!" He looked just as disgusted, and I relax, thanking God that as a makeshift mother, I wouldn't have to deal with a pedo son.

That was just be too much..

I lowered my voice. "Then who?"

I looked over to see him blush. Ah, that bad. He looked down and mumbled something vague to "Foo", that even my over sensitive hearing couldn't pick up.

"Speak up, dammit," I was getting tired of this shit. I wasn't even for sure why I wanted to know so bad, but I did.

And I don't have to explain shit.

He sighed loudly. "You, Leah, you."

I was speechless.

And when I could form a few words, I blushed and said something stupid like, "Oh."

"Yeah," He sat back, and to fill the silence he turned on the radio. It was a song we both knew, and we started to hum simultaneously.

I was more than a little flattered at the fact that Jacob, my _Alpha_, thought me pretty or sexy or whatever enough to use me as a fantasy.

It brought back those thoughts while sitting in the tree, and I shifted in my seat, glancing at him. He caught my gaze, and I blushed.

Why was I beating around the bush here? Jacob was, as I had said twice already, _damn _fine all around. He obviously wanted me, and I couldn't blame him.

Leah Ass _is_ nice, after all.

He wanted me and fuck if I didn't want him too.

Then why was I hesitating?

Oh right, maybe the fact that my heart had been broken once and this time the guy was already hooked in by Fate's evil grasp.

I was prone to heartbreak. I was easily taken advantage of and I was naïve when it came to guys. And I knew it.

With Jacob I just knew it wouldn't be a meaningless fuck for me. He was just the kind of guy you fell for - sweet, caring, strong, nice, wonderful...the list of adjectives just went on. And it was easy to see that I would be no exception, falling head over heels and it would be good for a few years, until his demon child got old enough and grew breasts and I would once again be left behind.

I wanted to be strong enough to have a meaningless fuck with him, but I knew I wasn't.

That didn't matter though. The fact was that right now, I wanted it and nothing was going to stop me.

I threw caution to the wind, knowing it would only end in heartbreak but not giving a fuck right now.

Damn, was I on a path of self-destruction or what?

I pulled over to the side of the road, not giving it anymore thought, and shut off the car. I unbuckled my seat belt and climbed over to his side, making sure to keep eye contact the entire time.

It all happened so fast and I didn't give him any time to process it as I straddled him.

"Leah, what the hell – "

I cut him off with my lips, and fuck if passion didn't explode like a motherfucker when it happened.

I was now Leah "Jacob's First Good Fuck" Clearwater and I would hold that title close to my heart for as long as it beat. And the same went with Sam.

_Nessie _and_ Emily _would have to kill me to take those two things away. I was their firsts and no one, - not Fate, or my mother or _anyone - _would be able to take that away from me.

Jacob gripped my hips softly, kissing me back. I would give him this, wallow in my self-pity for a while and then forget about it.

Because, for the most part, that's how I rolled.

I grinded down onto Jacob's erection before breaking away and climbing to the backseat, beckoning for him to follow.

And I would swear for years to come that it never happened, but I would know and Jacob would know. And I supposed that was all that mattered.

But I wouldn't let this ruin me. I was still Leah "Back The Hell Up Bitch" Clearwater and I had learned with Sam to never take this too seriously, especially if you knew it would only end up in heartbreak.

So, when Jacob looked at me worriedly, centimeters from where I really fucking wanted him, and asked, "Are you sure, Leah?" I only had one response.

"Don't be a bitch."

* * *

**And, that is the end. This was my most random piece of writing ever, I swear. But it was so much fun to write.**

**Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review!**

**xxEchelonAtHeartxx**


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